At the Movies: Bond, Jane Bond

 

Summer action blockbusters are as popular in my world as in yours. The most obvious differences, of course, are that in my world, the vast majority of protagonists in this genre of film are women, from films featuring tough cops to suave international spies, taciturn cowgirls to fast-talking heist planners, almost every single heroine or villain in these movies are female. In such movies, men play very minor roles as objects of sexual interest, or perhaps ones to be put in peril and distress – a family member kidnapped against his will, as an example – and thus providing the motivation for our movie heroines. Only recently have male characters been written to have a larger role in such films, but again only in such 'soft' roles such as conspiring to seduce and sleep with with an enemy character to steal an important secret. Invariably, these male characters will often be put in peril in the course of the movie in order for him to be rescued, or even killed to provide a motivation for vengeance.

All of this is natural in my world. A full-grown man can barely lift a small handgun, much less fire one without being severely injured, and even a man well-trained in martial arts – and some men are permitted to pursue such sport – can barely hold his own against a young girl, even untrained, much less a full-grown woman. Such are the differences in physical strength and coordination between the sexes. A male action hero would be a risible thing here, indeed.

As is also natural in my world, women may and often do take many lovers, and our larger-than-life heroines on the silver screen take much more than most.  Scenes of our protagonists bedding a string of willing (or heretofore unknowing that they are willing) boys in between car chases and explosions are par for the course.

None more so than Bond, Jane Bond, of course. One of the longest running series of spy action films in my world, featuring the suave titular character, who is just as vicious and cold with her male sexual conquests as she is in dispatching her female villainous counterparts and their various henchwomen. Even in most other action films, the heroines do display some heart, perhaps finally falling for one of her many male mates at films' end, a little throwaway to those male romantics in the audience, perhaps. But not our Jane, oh no, just as likely to leave a recent former lover to his untimely fate without a second thought as she is to provide him with a passionate farewell kiss.

A combination, no doubt, that secretly thrills even the most forward-thinking of men in my world, and renders her absolutely irresistible to all men, fictional or otherwise.

Hot Summer Nights III

Sweet days of summer, the jasmine's in bloom
July is dressed up and playing her tune
When she comes home from a hard day's work
And you're waiting there, not a care in the world

She sees the smile waiting in the kitchen
Food cooking on a plate for two
She feels the arms reaching out to hold her
In the evening when the day is through

Hot Summer Nights II

Do you remember all the nights we spent in silence
Every single breath you took was mine
We can have it all again
Say that you'll be with me when the sun brings your heart to mine 

And I remember how you loved me
Time was all we had until the day we said goodbye
And I remember every moment
Of those endless summer nights

Hot Summer Nights I

Small town hot summer nights 

Radio 'bout to blow 

Top down under the lights 

Feel the heat, wild and sweet 

Hot summer nights

Off With His Clothes!

The Kiss IV

Face Time

At the Movies: Superheroes and Such

Superhero movies are all in vogue in my world. Films featuring our favorite super-powered heroes from our adolescence do brisk trade at the box office, and it's a sure bet that every summer, there will at least be several blockbusters bearing the well-known names from the comic books of our childhood.

Needless to say, the superheroes of my world are quite different from those in yours.  For one thing, from Superwoman to Spider Woman, from the Watchwomen to the X-Women, all the heroic characters in the big-name comic books are female.  The vast majority of male characters are nothing but dudes in distress who also double as temporary sexual conquests that commonly last no longer than a few panels, or an issue at the most.  Any longer-lasting male characters usually play the role of a long-suffering yet intensely devoted lover, or secretary, or domestic servant.  The only distinguishing feature these men possess over those of the long litany of nameless playthings, is that they are privy to the secret identities of our masked crusaders.  If there are any story arcs about them in the glossy prestige titles, it's more than likely to involve being kidnapped and (more often than you think) being violated in some way before being rescued.

At the Beach IV

The Belt

It was some time before he stopped sobbing. She waited for his weeping to subside, patiently. It was a beautiful morning, with a brisk breeze that rustled the acacias lining her property and rippled across her glittering pool. She could hear clearly the distant crash of waves onto the rocks below the cliffs.

The race the afternoon before had been particularly hard-fought, in tricky gusting winds that followed the morning squall. She and her crew had barely beat their closest rivals, and in the yacht club that evening, seeing as the season was statistically won, she had bought more than a few rounds for them in celebration. The girls were in a particularly boisterous mood, and as the night wore on, they each departed with a squirming serving boy or two in their arms—and in one case, dragging a whimpering boy behind her by his hair to the laughter of the other women in the bar—to the clubs' rooms provided for the members' more private entertainments.

There she was left somewhat alone with this intriguing little thing, many of the other women left in the club bar being similarly entertained. Alan, the head boy, had yet again excelled in his staffing assignments that week, she had mused to herself, as her chosen one ran his soft lips up her thigh.